Sunday, September 25, 2011

New Chapter; Wondering Memories

I can see now every chapter of my life, how it began and how they all ended. This past chapter was an interesting one with different sub-chapters, if that even makes sense. To me it does though, and I guess that's all that really matter in the end.
I've been thinking a lot about all the different people in my life and how they have all affected, and effected me. Meaning emotionally and also in my social environment. I was thinking of one friend in particular the other day, Anthony. He was 15 when I met him in Hollywood. Stoned, buzzed and most likely spun. He told everyone he was 18, I don't know if he told anyone else his real age, or why he decided to fill me in on it. I got along well in the group we were in, then again we were all anxious teenagers, wanting to rebel and be as anti-authoritative as we possibly could. We wanted to drink, smoke and walk down Hollywood blvd yelling and making tourists and everyone around us feel uncomfortable. Several of the kids I would always be with were squatters including Anthony. He always worried me, I knew what he was doing, and how he was doing it and I knew that one day I would never see or hear from him again.
This is why I'm writing about him, It's been a year now and I haven't heard from him. I remember several times he jumped a freight train to who knows where. Every time I would see him I could see the way the world was changing him. Even though he always had a smile on his face I could see all the horrible things he had gone through in his beautiful blue eyes. He was a good friend, he always took care of me, and I did the same for him. I remember for a while I let him crash on my couch because he had no where to stay, and being the person I am I couldn't let him sleep on the cold ground. It's funny, my mom was even the same way, she could see the sincerity in his eyes too, and he wasn't the only friend I did that for. Even though he led such a disastrous and self destructive life, he was a good person, and a great friend. Someone who I can never forget about.
I remember another time, this old Hispanic lady was walking around trying to sell some gold earrings. She had them wrapped in a napkin and cupped in her hands. She kept going up to people trying to sell them these earrings that she most likely loved and owned for a long time. I walked up to her and asked her what she was doing. I could see the sorrow in her eyes, they were puffy and red, and she looked worried, desperate and scared. She told me that she was behind on rent and couldn't afford it. She didn't know what else to do except to try and sell the earrings. I don't know if she was either an incredibly good liar or in extreme despair. But I felt this woman was in need, and so I gave her some of the money I had on me and walked away. I think about this woman randomly and can still feel the grief I saw in her eyes, I always wonder what happened and if she worked everything out.
It makes me wonder about my own life, whenever I have needed something it came to me. Someone said the other day that the only way we can really get what we want is if we see the opportunity and seize it. I guess that's what I do, and life always presents these opportunities at the right time so everything always works itself out in a strangely perfect way. It's nice because I have learned to live my life positively, to be able to take a deep breath and accept things as they come is a skill most people can never develop, to be able to get up every morning go to work, to school and still have time to relax, meditate and do some yoga, to take in the sun and enjoy the beautiful things in life even if something is stressing me out, to be able to find happiness even when I feel lonely, to be able to pull myself off my feet and take it one day at a time, to go with the flow of life, and to be able to be myself and not give a fuck what people think.

Among other things buzzing around in my head, I have 2 almost finished pieces that are going to be in the next show coming this October on the 15th. I'm really excited about it of course and I can't wait for it! I'm still deciding which pieces I'm gonna put up, but I wanna go with the creepy Halloweenie theme.


Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

It Has Begun!

It has officially begun! My first Art show as SinisterAlex! I have been waiting for this moment for so long now! I don't think I have ever been so excited for something in my life! This is going to be the best show ever! It's going to be awesome to see the other Artists work and stuff. I can't wait to see the turn out. I hope to see all my close friends and family here that night :)

And now to continue working on some stuff...

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Keep it going...

It's already July, and July 4th is tomorrow. Time is going by so damn fast its insane. My birthday passed last month on the 27th, and I'm already 20. It seems like such a long time, but in reality, it isn't. There are other people who have been on this planet for longer. I've been thinking a lot lately about life, my surroundings, my friends, people I've been meeting. The actions I've taken over the years and where they have led me to. Also the actions of others and where they are in life now. It makes me grateful for what I have now and what I've achieved, because ultimately we make our own decisions. Even though I believe everything happens for a reason I still believe that we shape our own futures. Depending on those choices it leads us down a certain path.

I've accomplished a lot through the past few years, and now I'm finally doing what I have always dreamed of doing, being a part of something bigger than myself and the people around me. After this I just have to keep it going, keep taking the next steps without looking back, no regrets, just excitement and a positive attitude.

I can't wait to see what my future holds.


Monday, June 6, 2011

Continuing to move forward...

It's funny how life can change in such drastic ways in such a small period of time. I've lost friends unfortunately through some underestimating circumstances, but I have gained so much more in the process. 2010 was my party year and now that its over it's time to get serious.

I'm still in school and still working hard to reach my ultimate goal. I have a lot of ideas in my head that I know for a fact I can accomplish within the next few years. One has already started.

In August my art will be displayed and sold at an art show which is extremely exciting! That is one of the reasons I need to continue with this blog. I started of really well which really gives me a boost of self-esteem :) So far I've contributed to an underground zine, a long with pictures from a photo shoot i set up. That in itself is great to me. The only downside is that I haven't gotten in contact with that person, Bob, for quite a while, but mostly having to do with school. I would rather finish up my education and then go on to that. But the art show that's coming up is perfect, I can create art and still go to school.

Other than that, life is good, I really have nothing to complain about. I moved in with my boyfriend Seamus McCann, which has honestly been amazing! Most people usually go crazy when they move in with their significant other but I guess we got lucky! :D Work is great, I get free food everyday, and strangely enough my boss wants me to dye my hair green to match the umbrellas he recently got in... haha yeah, so random.

I have a few projects I'm working on that I've mentioned on facebook but wont mention on here. I kinda came to the conclusion that I probably should have no mentioned it at all. Any who, that will be up for sale shortly. All I can say really is that it's going to be cute and irresistible, no not kittens. I'm hoping also on getting together with a few friends to work on some things together. As soon as it all gets started and I get some patents? and copyrights I'll be posting more things on here.

Until then, I leave you with some awesome lyrics...

Thing Called Love

There was a time
There was a place
But there was fear inside
A witty line to save my face
The parachute of pride

To cross a line, takes a tiny step
But will this spark, cause the bridge to burn
My fear entwined with my regret
A beated path of safe return

So here we are, all just the same
And you will never know
My secret plan, how close we came
To share another road

Have I lost my only chance
To tell you how I feel inside
Is it just me, I’d like to know?
Or are we all just a little blind?

Cause there’s a thing called love
That we all forget
And it’s a wasted love
That we all regret

You live your life just once
So don’t forget about a thing called love
Don’t forget, forget about a thing called love

There’s a thing called love
That we all forget
And it’s a wasted love
That we all regret

You live your life just once
So don’t forget about a thing called love
Don’t forget, forget about a thing called love

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Some Kind of Purpose

"Sleepless gliding
Over the city lights
Watch us flying
Over the streets tonight"

"Sunday morning
Watching the city sleep
Dreams are shining
Finely they’re within reach"

Music always make me feel so much better about everything. It's always spoken to me, I can always find a song that relates to almost any situation I'm in, it just speaks to my soul.

I haven't posted anything in a while, I don't know how people keep up with this stuff. Well let's see, I did the fanzine thing about 2 times and that was it. Unfortunately, but fortunately, have been working, since I get off at 10:30 on the weekends I don't get any time to go to shows or if any kind of event is going on I have to work as well. I don't have to worry about that anymore though, I'm free of that place and looking for another job. It sucks because my head is going kinda crazy, I have to move out of the place I'm at now and into a friends house, since I'm jobless I cant afford to pay any of the rent, and neither can my mom. Right now my main focus is going to be school, which was going to be the plan anyways. I'm not bummed about loosing my job, mostly because 2 days before I got fired I had a job interview and it went really well, even went well again on wednesday. This is giving me the chance to put all my focus on school and myself. Always looking on the bright side :)

I went to EDC for my birthday, and partied for a week straight. I had such a great time, I loved my outfits, especially the one for the second day, I got to see some amazing sets. Infected Mushrooms, I danced for their entire set, which was 1:45, sober. Kaskade was amazing, I missed a couple of songs though. Deadmau5 was pretty cool, but most people said he could have done a better job, I agreed, either way still good. For saturday, I absolutely loved Above&Beyond, I cried for their set, I was so happy I got to see them. The rest of the week was just a party for me, I went to two parties on friday, and I got to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time, so it was really nice to catch up with old friends.

School is going to be interesting, I still don't know what it is that I want to do. I have so many interests, I do know I wanna take a business class, so that's a good start. I'm gonna take the basic classes first to make it easier on myself and from then on I can start figuring out what I like the most.

I've been feeling really nostalgic lately, almost every song I listen to makes me feel that way. There's a lot of things, people, and feelings that I miss a lot, I wish there was a way to just fall asleep and wake up in the past to those times. I know its impossible, but a girl can dream cant she? I always try not to let myself fall too deep, if I do I might not be able to get back up, its happened before, and that wouldn't be good. Even though I have so many people that would spring me out of it like nothing. Its safer to stay in reality I guess, it feels like the days are going by faster and faster now, but my days are so long, and my nights even longer, I just want to be out all night, doing something exciting, but everyone is sleeping, and I'm still awake. I feel like this when I'm alone especially, but that's ok, I think I would rather embrace the feeling than let it bring me down. I've been hit by a lot of life's obstacles within the past couple of months to a year. The break up was the hardest, it was so weird, but I think I've been doing a good job, I'm still standing strong and I have all my friends by my side too which is always nice. One thing I am worried about is my kitty, I really don't know where I can take her, if I cant find anyone I'm just going to put her in one of those places where they watch your pets, I don't care how much it costs. I just hope I have enough money.

Well at least now I can really focus on whats most important in my life. Me, School, Jade, and of course my sanity.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Baby Jeepers!

Baby Jeepers is a fanzine, other wise known as an underground music magazine, based in Silverlake, CA. and is run by Bob Cantu, as I've mentioned in my other posts I met Bob through Sylvia, and now I'm writing in his fanzine which is pretty awesome.
The 3rd issue which I contributed to is out now, last week on Friday the 13th, there was a show to celebrate the 3rd issue, it was a lot of fun, the bands were incredible! Swords of Fatima was such a unique band, I have never heard anything like them before, they were so good! I absolutely fell in love with Peg Leg Love, they had this old rockabilly rock n roll feel mixed in with a bit of surf, their CD came with a copy of the zine, I listen to it a lot!

Here's the cover of the zine.

And here is my review!

You can go and get a copy at...
Beauty Is Pain
1433 Highland ave near Sunset blvd.

Check them out!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Photo Shoot With Kasio Antaxia

So I did a photo shoot with the guys from Kasio Antaxia on October 10th, and I'm also doing a review, but that's going to be on the fanzine. I also got a few of them live at the Stardust Club on October 9th.
Here are some photos :)
October 9th @ The Stardust Club

Photo shoot October 10th
too much sun, but I really like this one.

This one I just did for fun, I don't think their using it, but It's just hard not to post it, it looks so awesome, they spelled out Kasio! so I added Antaxia! I really like it :D

Check them out!